he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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