im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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