I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
