last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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