Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
