Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
