Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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