I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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