I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
