She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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