I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You need a sexual gate keeper
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
