dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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