His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Duck Duck Cougar?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
