The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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