uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Two words: blizzard sex
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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