i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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