I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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