She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
40s are totally the cure
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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