Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize