I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
