i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
That was an excessively violent trivia night
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
