My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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