Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
