It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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