I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
