Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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