after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
