we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize