The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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