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• (314): View more from Missouri

  he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.

  (682): View more from Texas

  Oh yum

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I just really need a hug and a shower beer

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.

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• (805): View more from California

  We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet

  (845): View more from New York

  It'll be a kids book

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?

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