But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
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