they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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