Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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