yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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