I think I just saw someone hide a body.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
