guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
