he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
