I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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