i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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