Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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