don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
