You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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