there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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