I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
