how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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