I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
