Define "chronic" masturbator.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
