in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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