So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
