3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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