i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
