K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
