Are we in a gay sports bar?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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