He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Be still, my beating vagina.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
