I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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