Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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