Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Panties = found
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
