I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize