We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
