We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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